Dealing with Kimarhi
by MildlyInsane
Summary: The party does not like Kimarhi, but what are they going to do about it? This is supposed to be funny... I hope you enjoy it. Please review it if you read it, good or bad reviews... I don't mind. Rated "T" for some violence...


**_xxxxxx_**

Rikku, Wakka, and Auron were killing fiends left and right. Wakka took care of the flying monsters; Auron was very powerful with his sword; Rikku mugged the enemies, stealing valuable items, as well as aiding slightly in the over-all success of each battle. Often-times Yuna would step in to heal them or to summon an aeon in the event of of a very powerful fiend. Occasionally Lulu would step in if there was a fiend that was weak against black magic. And Tidus, of course, would step in if there was a water fiend, taking Auron's place, since he refused to set foot in the water.

Taking part in more and more battles, Rikku was becoming physically stronger against fiends, and was now able to deliver semi-powerful blows. Wakka was becoming very accurate; Lulu's and Yuna's magic was getting very strong. Everyone was improving since their journey began. Well, of course, everyone but Kimarhi.

Kimarhi was just about the most worthless member of any battle party ever created. At first glance he seemed like one who would be very strong, and very deadly to be pitted against in combat. Even Tidus, when he first encountered him, thought that Kimarhi was quite strong and menacing. When Tidus had first met Kimarhi, the Ronso had thrown a fit and attacked him. Since Tidus had just gone through a very stressful and tiring ordeal, and had woken up in the ocean, he was weak. Also, he was never really a fighter in the first place. Sure, he kicked ass at blitz ball, but he was really somewhat whiney, and not a very good fighter at first. Therefore, the Ronso beat the hell out of him for a minute, but eventually was told to stop.

Had Tidus not been so weak already, he would have shown that Ronso who was boss... But, at the time, Tidus was no better a fighter than Kimarhi.

Not only was Kimarhi a worthless fighter... He was also annoying. He talked like an idiot, saying his own name when referring to himself, instead of the obvious and commonly used "I," "me," or "my," and was always all over Yuna. Yuna, of course, being the kind person who she is, would never tell him how she really felt. She instead pretended to be grateful that he was there to watch over her. She would thank him, but what she really wanted to do was tell him to get the hell off of her, and to not speak to her. He annoyed her terribly.

So they made their way along the pilgrimage, attacking fiends, always only three of the party at a time... And of course, Kimarhi was never one of those three. They wanted him to leave, but didn't want to be too straight forward. They didn't want to hear him complain about it, because, of course, how would they ever convince him to leave anyway?

Soon, however, Tidus had a brilliant idea: "We all hate Kimarhi, right?" he asked the group while Kimarhi was off doing something stupid which he thought was important, "Why not let him join one of the fights, and then kill him?"

"That's a great idea!" Rikku agreed, "Cast reflect on ourselves, while he isn't looking, and then cast the biggest black magic spell ever, killing everything in sight! Well, not us, of course, because we will have reflect cast on us." she said, smiling, and laughing.

"I think," Yuna began, "that it is about time that someone thought of that."

"I agree," Lulu said.

"Ya," Wakka stated, "I really hate that guy."

Auron simply nodded in approval.

"Alright," Tidus said, "This is so great... As soon as we get rid of Kimarhi, all of our troubles will be gone," he said, smiling at the rest of the group.

"Well..." Yuna began, "There is still that whole thing with Sin, and all of these dangerous fiends everywhere... but I admit it will feel liberating having that jerk dead. I am so tired of him following me everywhere, and making up excuses to grab me. Personally, I would rather faint and break my skull than have him touch me." she shuddered, "He is so pervy sometimes."

"Shhh!" Rikku said, "Here he comes..."

Kimarhi walked over to them, "What going on? Yuna, you are okay?"

Yuna smiled, "Yes, Kimarhi," she said sweetly, "I am fine."

"Hey, Kimarhi," Tidus began, "There is a huge fiend over here, and it is blocking our path. I think you, Lulu and I could take care of it, but first I need to talk to Yuna in private. She is a little nervous, you see, and I am sure she will be fine; I just need to talk to her for a minute, over here," he said, leading Yuna away from everyone else, out of sight to Kimarhi.

"Lulu," Yuna said, playing along with Tidus's plan, "Will you please come with us; I need to talk to you also."

Lulu followed them. When none of the rest of the party could see them anymore, Yuna casted reflect on Lulu and Tidus. Then they all walked back to join the group.

"Well," Tidus said, "The fiend is way over there. I think the rest of you should stay put, while Lulu, Kimarhi and I take care of it."

Everyone followed his instructions. Kimarhi and Lulu followed Tidus, deeper into the woods. Lulu came up close to Tidus and whispered in his ear, "How will I know when to cast the spell?"

"Just do it the next time I say anything, okay?" Tidus whispered back.

They walked for a little distance farther, and then, "Oh my! There it is!" Tidus yelled, pointing at a tree.

"Where?" Kimarhi questioned, "Kimarhi no see!"

Lulu raised her arms and, with her moogle, summoned the black magic needed to cast Ultima, the most powerful and deadly spell she knew. Black and shades of purple flashed, everywhere, in a dark and deathly explosion. The damaging magic reflected off of Tidus and Lulu, and left Kimarhi lying quite dead.

Lulu smiled, a very sly-looking, very Lulu-ish smile, and Tidus returned a very Tidus-ish one. They left Kimarhi's body in the woods and walked back toward the rest of the party. When they got there, the rest of the party was silent for a moment.

"Did you-" Yuna began.

"Yes!" Lulu answered her, "We did! He is dead!"

Yuna wept with joy, "This is just such a relief," she said through joyous tears, "I was so stressed out... I just feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"Ya," Wakka agreed, "Right then; let's go kill Sin."

"This is going to be great, you know?" Rikku said, cheerfully smiling and laughing, "I've been so worried about this whole thing, but now that Kimarhi is gone, I think it is all going to work out just fine."

The party of 6 continued on their pilgrimage, all of them laughing and joking. As they walked closer and closer to what would likely be their untimely demise, they felt happier and happier with each Kimarhi-less step.

**_xxxxxx_**

**_Sorry guys... I know they were a bit out of character... I just really hate Kimarhi... He was so worthless._**

**_Please review. :)_**


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